Magnatious

WELCOME MAGGIE!!! I don't have a picture of her yet, so this will have to do.

Maggie loves horses, her kids, her husband, her dog, having one inch of dark roots, Elvis Costello, the Ramones, Coke (regular - NOT DIET), sweet stuff, paper samples, new york, photography, painting, rats - yes, rats, and most of all she loves staring at my amazing profile all day long.


Stupid comment of the day: There's this security gaurd that hangs around downstairs and tells Sweet Dan different ways that he could capitalize on his incredible talent. Today he suggested that Dan learn how to draw exact replicas of US dollars because technically it's not counterfeit if you don't use a copy machine.

A New Era

It's the dawn of a new era here at DCS. My two ladies have have left. First Nikole, and now my sweet Ettiquator - AJ. sigh. I'm the last lady standing.
Here's a list of the things I will miss about dear AJ:
I'll miss her whisper shouting when she tries to either re-enact an actual shouting incident, or one she would like to happen.
I'll miss the way she holds her little tupperware dish of rice and chicken 2 inches away from her mouth as she dishes stuff in.
I'll miss the jingle of her lipsmackers necklace hit her namebadge as she walked down the hall.
I'll miss her relentless committment to working out while she works.
Her silent panic attacks.
Her moral high ground.
Short pants.
Her love of disgusting foreign foods.
Swapping 3rd floor bathroom horror stories.
Her patience for my ways which I'm sure drove her crazy deep down inside.
And so many other things that no one will ever be able to replace!!!

Normal or Nuts??

Today’s lunchtime conversation centered around a Reader’s Digest article entitled Normal or Nuts? Test Yourself. It included several reader submitted rants about their own bizarre tendencies which were then evaluated by the experts who deemed weather said tendency was actually a symptom of insanity or just a lame idiosyncrasy. The only one I could relate to was a blurb about being unable to comfortably walk next to strangers. I always have to adjust my pace to sprint ahead or fall behind them. Apparently that’s normal. What ISN’T normal though is Lemonhead’s empathy for spoons. Yes. That’s right. He can’t choose one spoon for his supper without feeling bad for all the spoons that don’t get to accompany him to Tofu Town (or whatever other organic destination he has in mind.) After his heart wrenching decision, he even apologizes to the other little guys! AND it’s not just spoons. It’s pretty much any inanimate object.

So, what did the experts have to say about this?? Well, one expert implied that he must be a “wounded soul” who developed an excessive sensitivity for anything that has been neglected or omitted. (Maybe he was picked last for kickball one too many times?)
Another guy called Jason a Narcissist!! Who does he think he is that any spoon would even want to go near his mouth?! Another guy argues that this all stems from general indecisiveness. I don’t know about that. I mean, I have a hard time deciding what to wear in the morning, but I don’t ask forgiveness from the 5 shirts I tried on and didn’t choose. I don’t even hang them up and put them back in their cozy closet house with their friends. I just throw them on the floor! Then I step on em! Then I tell them how ugly they are and that I never wanted them in the first place and that my mother MADE me get them! FROM TALBOTS!!! I don’t feel sorry for them one bit! (Sigh)….Anyways. The last specialist says that Lemonheads behavior is completely normal….for a 4 year old.

So there you have it. Lemonhead is a Super-Sensitive, Narcissistic, and emotionally immature psychopath. Don’t cry about it, Lemonhead. I’d have to give you one of my tissues and the rest of the box would get jealous.

Quote of the day:
"Are you just going to walk by that chair and not say Hello?" - me to Lemonhead about 5 minutes after hearing about his "issue"