It Came From the Womens' Bathroom!!

So, I know it's been awhile since I've blogged about an incident in the womens bathroom, but I figured it had all been said....until last Friday.

Since I don't drink even a fraction of enough liquids throught the day, I only make it to the restroom maybe once a day. I try to hold it until I can't hardly stand it because if I don't and there's someone in there fixing there hair or reapplying their make-up in dead silence I'm sure to get stage fright. I sit and NOTHING. So I flush the empty toilet and leave - unrelived. But this is all besides the point. - Last friday walked into the "Ladies" (I use this very loosely) room and was nearly knocked to my knees by an unholy stench. But, since I had been holding it to the point of no return, I just held my breath and went to stall #1. "WHAT!!!" I couldn't believe it. I had seen that splatter before along the back of the seat, but this time it was different. This time- it was brown!!!! I rolled my eyes and went to #2 (no pun intended). I then ran back to the office and shared the news with AJ who was equally disgusted. We laughed and accused our usual suspects.

Then - 20 minutes later I recieve this email from AJ:
"I've just returned from the ladies'. And I think I can top you."
Someone had literally sh*t on the floor in Stall #3."

WHAT!?! NO WAY!

I have to ask. I find AJ down the hall and make her spill. Yes....It was true. Someone left a lonely little terdlit sitting on the floor next to the toilet. How did this happen??? I mean, the mechanics of it! Even if it was a Hoverer, they're hover skills would have had to been dramatically off. Were they drunk?? Were they crazy??? Who keeps doing crap like this??!!!!

"This I've got to see!" I shout. "No, Jenny. It's too late. It's been taken care of." No. NO. she couldn't have. " I had to!" She shouts. "There were other people in there!! They would have thought I did it!!"

I am speechless.