Look out. Here comes Winter Jenny.

Prepare yourselves. I can feel myself morphing into Winter Jenny already. It’s been a year, so let me refresh you on her personality. Winter Jenny may slightly like Summer Jenny, but don’t be fooled. They are 2 different people. Sure, they both have the same gigantic teeth, but if you look closely, you’ll see that winter Jenny’s teeth are totally lack-luster and a dingey yellow. This is probably due to the poor hygiene that Winter Jenny prefers. “Why bother with the white strips? In fact, why bother brushing my teeth at all? They are just going to get dirty again?” This is an example of Winter Jenny’s general attitude towards everything. Summer Jenny is no fashion plate, but winter Jenny takes it to a whole new level. When she comes to town the first thing she likes to do is gain 10 to 15lbs. Now Summer Jenny’s clothes don’t fit anymore, but Winter Jenny doesn’t give a hoot. She refuses to go and buy new pants that do fit so she just alternates the two “less tight” pairs—not daily – weekly. She finds one pair of shoes and wears them every day whether they match or not. “Make-up to cover those unsightly dark circles- Hell no. It’s all pointless. Life is pointless. Why even take the time to brush my hair, there’s so much static in the air it’s just going to look like crap anyways.” At least she is considerate enough to wash it….every other day.

Summer Jenny is fun and entertaining and always happy to talk to anyone. Winter jenny isn’t quite so congenial. If she talks at all it’s usually to complain about how stupid everything is. Summer Jenny is observant and can turn most anything into a great lunch time story, Winter Jenny on the other-hand, still has the same gift, but would rather sit at her desk and play Tetris than talk to her fabulous co-workers. “Don’t they know how pointless it all is!!! Who Cares!?!?”

Speaking of stupid, Winter Jenny likes to have a boyfriend. Not because she’s lonely or feeling romantic. She just likes to have someone else to complain to – and about. She turns on the charm just enough to reel some poor sap in, and then she flips the switch. At this point he’s stuck with her, because it’s the holidays and no one wants to be alone during the holidays. He figures having a sullen unkempt hygiene deficient girlfriend is better than having no girlfriend at all. He puts up with it. And just when he gets used to her and begins to accept her, Summer Jenny comes back and loses him quicker than a utility bill. But, you can’t blame her. Winter Boyfriend usually sucks pretty bad himself. Winter Jenny ain’t too picky.

So folks. Consider yourselves warned. Winter Jenny sucks and I apologize in advance.